Wednesday, 4 January 2017

The Joys of a GP

3 Jan prompt:
A General Practitioner is typically a “first-line” doctor, but their role can vary greatly. GPs treat acute and chronic illnesses, provide advice and healthcare education, as well as preventative care to patients. Write at least 500 words, following a character in this career.

 "Good Morning, Doctors Biggs Rooms" I heard my receptionist say for the umpteenth time today. I was not in the mood for people which is unfortunate considering my profession. One couldn't simply say "Go away, I don't feel like seeing you," when you are a doctor. Today had me even questioning my vocation. I blame that little interaction I had at Dunwood High School last week.  You may think that sounds a little odd. Let me explain.

Last week I got a call from our local High School asking me if I could come and speak to their Grade 9-11 class about Health and perhaps organise a First Aid Workshop. I was happy to oblige, they are, after all, the next generation of healthcare workers and it would be an honour to promote this work. I said that I would come to do the Healthcare Talk first, and then schedule a follow-up First Aid Workshop for the next week. I asked what sort of areas they would like me to cover, made a short list, and enthusiastically set out to put together an enlightening talk about taking care of one's body.

I arrived at the school, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eager to enthuse. The classes were lining up after break-time and in hindsight, that should have set off all kind of alarm bells. "Why didn't I do this at 08h00!?"

We all filed into a large classroom and the students sat down loudly. Did you know a person can in fact, make a hell of a noise just sitting down? I learnt this that day.

I was hastily introduced as Dr Biggs, the "healthcare person". 

From the front row I heard a muffled whisper between two boys and then a snicker. "OH?" said their teacher, "is there something you find funny about that, Paul?"

"No, sir." came the reply. 

"Well, then perhaps you wouldn't mind telling us what you found to snicker at?

 A hush fell and I thought the class would hear my heart pounding inside my chest. "Well?" demanded the teacher. "Um, I, um, well..." Paul began.

"Stop mumbling and stand up when you speak to me." Paul stood up. "I just kinda said that the Doctors name fitted her because she has big boobs." 

I wished the ground would swallow me whole. These bloody boobs had been the butt of so many jokes! I shot a look at their teacher who was now a bright red all the way up to his ear tips... and momentarily speechless.

"Apologise immediately Paul!"

"I am sorry I said you have big boobs Miss, I mean, Doctor." Paul said as he looked at me directly with a glint in his eye. I had the distinct feeling that he was enjoying this whole experience far too much. 

"Paul, move to that empty seat next to Adam. You and Patrick should never be allowed to sit together. Move!" 

He moved and I fumbled around in my medical bag and wondered where I could go from here. I decided to start with something harmless. Since it was winter, I took out some Vitamins and explained how our bodies sometimes needed a little extra to keep us healthy. I removed a couple of bottles from my medical bag and emptied a selection of colourful tablets onto the desk to be seen. 

"A blue pill!"  It's probably Viagra not a Vitamin!" Paul piped up from his corner seat. The class snickered. 

"Imagine taking one a day, thinking it was Vitamin D and wondering why you had an erection afterwards every day?" Patrick chirped back from across the room. 

The class exploded into fits of giggles.  

"Is that a rocket in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"  

Hysterical laughter. 

"Check her bag, maybe there is a banana and a condom in there for the rest of the lesson."

I grabbed my bag and fled as though I was being chased by the bulls of Pamplona. "Why do I do this?"

I phoned the Fire Brigade and asked them if they could kindly fill in on my First Aid Workshop next week.

680 words

1 comment: